Here’s What LGBT Life In The Middle East Is Really Like
There’s a powerful scene in the film “Oriented,” where the protagonist, Khader Abu Seir rides his bike through the small Arab port town of Jaffa, smiling, sailing past the open air cafes into the night.
Watching his fluid movement through the streets, freedom is the first word that comes to mind.
This group is about connection and sharing, and there has to be trust to let this happen. Can you describe what the area is like?
It’s our little island three to five minutes from Tel Aviv, super quiet, super beautiful, with an amazing, historical past. Yet the message of freedom is not typically what the West associates with being gay and Arab.
I have had formal training and certification in leading support groups, so I appreciated the benefits and dynamics of group process. But 80 percent of the Arab world today are fighting the same fight that Europe and America are fighting, the common people who just want to live in peace. As gays, we don’t have any rights inside the only democracy in the Middle East.
[quote position="full" is_quote="true"]We cannot get married in Israel.
What will I have to reveal?
You don't have to be out, open or sexually active to join the group. I wish that I could live in a utopic world where I could say, “I’m just gay” or “I’m just human.” But today when the West is turning its back on Arabs and on Islam and on humanity, you start to be afraid.
Why is very little, if any, mention of religion in the film?
While I am Muslim and Fadi and Naeem are Christians, we don’t talk about it inside of our relationship because we are not those kind of boys.
I can relate to that totally.
The film shows the dynamic of co-existing with your boyfriend who is Jewish. Our members have included a mix of American-born and foreign-born, bilingual and English-only.
My family and/or my friends don't know I'm gay. I will say it in the gay language: “Jaffa, give me life.” I am from Jaffa, born and raised and the fact that I could live openly out from the closet in Jaffa and nobody will assault me or attack me, that shows you how the community can use the idea of what it means being gay.
Over time, trust, bonding, and a sense of solidarity build among the men in the group.
Who runs the group?
I am a gay, first generation Palestinian-American.I wanted to belong to a group like this and couldn't find one--so I started this group for myself and others! Everyone in the group agrees to confidentiality regarding other members.
Part of the reason the group exists is to provide a safe space to express yourself, and to be heard and understood, just as you are.
We ask that you come only if you feel you want to attend regularly.
The reason for this is that members are close; they share intimate details of their lives. The term 'Middle East' was popularized around 1900 by the British, and has been criticized for its loose definition. [Oriented] is the first time you can watch a movie that three gay Arabs are the heroes and not the victims.
I will be glad to talk to you about the group ahead of time so that you can decide if it is right for you. I want that to happen but you cannot blame all of us. This is followed by a free discussion.