How to know if a man is gay

This strategy may help him avoid uncomfortable questions or situations that could reveal his true feelings and identity.

3) Avoiding Physical Contact with Men

A third sign that a guy might be pretending to be straight is his avoidance of physical contact with other men.

Sometimes confusion. 17 Signs A Guy Is Pretending To Be Straight (Psychological Reasons). Adhering to these clichés may make him less likely to be questioned or judged about his true feelings.

Why A Guy Might Want To Hide His Sexuality

In today's society, while significant progress has been made in LGBTQI+ rights and acceptance, some individuals may still feel the need to hide their true sexuality.

Either they’re worried that their man will eventually decide he’s gay and end the relationship, or they want monogamy, and his cheating is a threat to the marriage regardless of who he’s doing it with.

In the case of a man pretending to be straight, he may use unique clothing as a subtle way to express his true feelings or connect with the LGBTQI+ community without openly revealing his sexuality.

He can explore and affirm his identity discreetly and personally by incorporating LGBTQI+ symbols, colors, or patterns into his wardrobe.

17) Stereotypical Clichés

Another indication that a guy might be pretending to be straight is if he adheres to stereotypical clichés associated with heterosexual men. For example, during a conversation about relationships, he might avoid looking directly at a female friend but find himself drawn to making and maintaining eye contact with a male friend.

Eye contact is a powerful form of nonverbal communication that can convey a wide range of emotions and intentions, including attraction, interest, and sincerity.

By hiding their sexuality, they may feel that they can avoid potential judgment and maintain a sense of safety and acceptance in their social circles.

Social or Family Pressure

Another common reason why a guy might want to hide his sexuality is due to social or family pressure. He probably doesn’t even remember that afterward.

For example, he might avoid spending time with a gay coworker outside of work or decline to attend a pride event, even if he has friends who are participating.

This avoidance of gay friends and social circles can be tied to the psychological concept of impression management. They come out because they feel seen, safe, and free.

Friendship and “Gaydar”: Where It Gets Murky

Maybe you’re not romantically involved at all.

The wife may experience:²

• Guilt
• Hurt and even rage at having been betrayed
• Devastation
• Shame
• Responsibility
• Repulsion

And the wife may wonder if anything was real about the partner she thought she knew so well. He may react with anger, denial, or irritation if someone questions his sexual orientation or suggests that he might be gay.

And eventually, both of you will be freer for it.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need to Know to Be Kind

Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is let someone keep their privacy. If he has a need that she can’t meet or doesn’t want to meet, then she’s OK with him cheating, as long as he’s not doing it with other women.

What advice do you have for the women in these relationships?

I always advise the women to not need all the details of what their man has done.

Then I tell them that a lot of gay men don’t do anal at all, either giving or receiving. He might be emotionally avoidant in relationships. In some communities, being openly gay may not be accepted, and individuals may face backlash or disapproval from their family and friends. That might last for two months or two years, and then it may recede, but this typically causes all kinds of problems in the marriage.

Do the women always want the man’s same-sex behavior to stop?

Most of the time they do, because it’s threatening their marriage.

They’re just not into it. In the case of a man pretending to be straight, he may project his own insecurities or internal struggles with his sexuality onto gay-related subjects.